Dating can seem like an endless process, but Lisa Bevilacqua breaks it down to a science in her book One and Done.
Being “on the market” for nearly two years after her divorce, Bevilacqua did not have the best of luck with dating. She instead became frustrated during the whole process.
“A lot has changed in the dating world between the time I had gotten married and divorced. I didn’t really know how to date.” -Bevilacqua
Realizing that dating was no longer the same, she hatched her “one and done” plan. With all these new ways of meeting men, she decided that it was time reapproach dating.
Bevilacqua originally started out in order to maximize her time to find “the one.” This soon changed into multiple first dates. With unforgettable experiences, she later tailored them into a book.
How do these dates work?
Bevilacqua came to the realization that she needed to trust her gut and rethink her approach. She created the “one and done” approach. She would go on one date, and if he did not fit her image of perfection, she moved on to the next one instead of wasting her time.
“You have to go into the date thinking that you will never see them again unless he blows you away.” -Bevilacqua
Strategically planning out her dates, Bevilacqua made sure that these outings interfered with neither her professional or personal life. She maintained her 9-5 work schedule and made sure these dates did not exceed her 9 PM curfew, as well as not allowing time being taken away from her family and friends.
Bevilacqua treated her dates more as “job interviews.” She did not let her emotions take control but rather trusted her gut throughout the whole process.
“If there are little things that might bother you in the first date, they’re only going to magnify as you go along.” -Bevilacqua
Her book tracks her journey throughout this process of finding “the one”. She shared personal experiences, as well as advice with women who are re-entering the dating world.
“Trust your gut. Everyone thinks that you get that feeling in your stomach, but it is between your brain and heart. Don’t second guess it, just go with it.” -Bevilacqua
Where is she now?
Eight years after she formulated her master plan, Bevilacqua can vouch for its success. After 42 dates, lucky number 43 came along and swept her off her feet. “One thing that set JT (lucky number 43) apart was that he seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me, and he was very thoughtful and careful about planning our dates,” she said.
Today, she is happily married to lucky number 43 and has a newborn daughter living in Downtown, New York.